CARAGH'S STORY
Outwardly, Caragh pretty much had it all together. Always composed, hair laid with precision, always rocking heals and a carefully selected outfit to present her as perfectly as possible to the outside world.
If you didn't know her extremely well, you'd never really have known the amount of grief and loss she carried with her from numerous bereavements.
You'd never have felt the weight of insecurity and anxiety that rested on her shoulders, as it does for so many of us who never learn to love ourselves properly.
You'd certainly not be aware of the level of distrust she had for her own body, when one health condition after another piled on top of each other.
And while you might have wondered about her incessant working schedule, you'd likely never guess the level of responsibility she felt to do more, always more, to change the circumstance of those she loved.
POTENTIAL
Caragh had always had the potential to be something special. She'd heard a lot about it; her potential. At school, the teachers often commented on it. The feeling was that she never quite reached what she had the ability to achieve, much to her mother's frustration.
Never one for rules, Caragh didn't care for the expected. She never opted for security, she left a long-term relationship because it no longer fuelled her and turned down jobs because they didn't sit right with her soul.
Carving out a freelance career for herself in journalism, music, and fashion, the freedom of not having a boss was priceless, despite her safety-loving family's concerns. In 2011, she made her biggest leap of faith yet, taking the step to become director of a brand identity agency with her best friend and soul mate.
Learning business, executing the company services and being financially responsible for their success didn't come without its stresses. Combine that with a friendship, business partnership and spiritual love unlike any other, and Caragh was so focused on the requirement for growth and pressure to deliver, that she didn't stop to consider the potential impact of stress and uncertainty.
FACING FEARS
On December 29th 2017, two years after her father had been given an incurable diagnosis, Caragh was unexpectedly diagnosed with breast cancer. She was shocked and scared. Mistrusting of the medical system, she didn't feel comfortable with conventional treatment. Simultaneously, she felt let down by her body yet again and couldn't relax at the thought of the possibilities of the future. She decided that whatever happened, she would face this head on, and do things her way, follow her intuition, use her fear as fuel, and 'become the CEO of her health' (-Kris Carr).
THE HAZE
Conventional treatments were pretty hellish. Caragh, who was so used to being in control of her life, and her appearence, had to learn to live in flow and surrender all control, as she was swept into a trance-like state induced by the treatment. She lost her beautiful, long, dark hair and began to see herself without all the masks she'd hidden behind for so long.
As she drifted in and out of her drug-induced hazy state, and became more accustomed to the version of herself she saw in the mirror, she realised she was beginning to see her value, love herself and appreciate her body in a way she never had before.
RIVER OF CHANGE
Somewhere between deep spiritual transformation and crippling anxiety, Caragh knew she had to find a way to take charge of her negative mind-chatter. One dark night of the soul, Caragh began scribbling things she needed to hear on to cards and sticking them all over her room, so that whenever she looked at them, she reset the familiar voices in her head that fixated on the worst possible outcomes.
The next day, she awoke to a package from her best friend, Pier, who lived all the way in Malaysia. Turns out, Pier had had the same idea. She began to send 'love-notes' of encouragement and affirmation.
SOULMATES
Caragh looked forward to Pier's words of encouragement during treatment, as they continued to remind her of the mindset she wanted to apply to her new experience.
She greatly admired her friend for the creative way she had shown up, even though she was 6000 miles away. In many cases, her support was more profound than some friends who were local.
Though Caragh had received wonderful support from her loved ones, partner, family, friends and particularly her Mum, it was Pier's ability to connect with her on a soul level, and to understand where she was at emotionally, from such a distance that made her love notes so special.
After a meditation one afternoon, Caragh knew that she wanted to help other loved ones be there for each other; ensure those going through a difficult time feel supported; and to share more kindness into the world, in the same way that her wonderful friend Pier did for her when it was most needed. <3
